


To Drop The Mask

by hatakesenju



Category: Naruto
Genre: Best Friends, Consensual Sex, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Multi, POV First Person, Romance, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:54:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26174557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatakesenju/pseuds/hatakesenju
Summary: Konoha is a traditional ninja village, where everybody knows each other’s. So inevitably, when a sexual scandal explose, all the shinobis know about it.Midori Okichi found her life changed forever, for the worst.
Relationships: Dai-hachi-han | Team 8 & Yuuhi Kurenai, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Gekkou Hayate/Uzuki Yuugao, Hatake Kakashi & Jiraiya, Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hatake Kakashi/Mitarashi Anko, Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s), Jiraiya (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s), Jiraiya/Orochimaru/Tsunade (Naruto), Jiraiya/Tsunade (Naruto), Nara Shikaku/Original Female Character(s), Nara Shikamaru/Original Female Character(s), Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Sarutobi Asuma & Dai-jippan | Team 10, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Same mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone ! This is my first fic in English... knowing it isn’t my first language, It was a bit difficult for me to write this.  
> This is the first chapter, and I hope you will enjoy it !  
> WARNING - sex scene

Holding back my tears, I walked in the streets of my village, without knowing where I wanted to go.  
I just wanted to be far, far away from this place. From this village, my home, where I was born. Where I grew up, raised by my grandmother.  
The sun was setting down, and the sky was orange... It was beautiful, and it just disgusted me. 

My heart and mind was so full of anger and pain.  
I needed to forget everything, even if it was just for a moment.  
The streets of Konoha were full of people laughing, enjoying the evening.  
Making my way through the crowd, I tried my best to leave the city center. 

After a long walk, I hopefully found a quiet bar, with only one customer inside. 

« - Good evening, welcomed the barman as soon as I entered in. What do you want to drink ?

\- A bottle of saké, please. »

The man nodded, and gave me the bottle and a glass.  
I sat on a table, alone, and started drinking. The liquid ran in my throat in seconds.  
My head was so full of thoughts... I just wanted all of them to disappear, completely and forever.  
I never felt like this, in all my shitty life. 

Taking the bottle of alcohol, I started to drink straight from the bottle, ignoring the glass the barman gave me.  
The saké was good. It tasted good. 

A silent tear dropped from my eyes.  
To feel better, I drank another mouthful.  
Strangely, I felt a bit better. Thank God, the saké was working.  
I looked at the bottle for a while, trying to read something, but my eyes couldn’t focus. I was exhausted. 

Suddenly, I heard a new customer entering in the bar. Looking at him for a few seconds, I sighed as soon as I recognized him.  
His only eye was looking at me, probing, testing and analyzing everything, like always. His white hair was messy, and as always, Kakashi Hatake looked hot. Too hot. It was almost annoying. 

« - Good evening. What do you want to drink ?, asked the barman to his new customer. 

\- A glass of water, please. »

I looked at him with a mocking grin.  
Once the barman gave him the water, Kakashi came nearer. 

« - Can I ?, asked the white haired man, showing with his eye the chair in front of me. 

\- If you want. »

He sat, moved his mask a bit (but I still couldn’t see his his face) and started drinking his glass of water.  
Kakashi was still looking at me, and I could feel his eye on me. He was trying to see if i was good.  
Ignoring him, I continued to drink. 

« - Kurenai was looking for you, said Kakashi, breaking the silence after a few seconds. 

\- I needed to be alone. I’ll see her later. 

\- She’s worried about you. 

\- Well, if she was that worried, she could’ve meet me. Why are you here ? You should have guessed you’re not the one I wanted to be with tonight. »

He drank another mouthful, and strangely, I peeped that he smiled.  
After all those years spent together, I knew when Kakashi smiled, even with his mask on.  
« - How do you feel Midori ?, asked the white haired man. 

\- I don’t want to talk about it. »

Kakashi stared at me, in silence.  
I drank, again.  
The bottle of saké was now almost empty.  
I knew Kakashi was trying to find something to say. 

« - How is your grandma then ?

\- She hates me. Well, I guess. I didn’t see her. »

He stayed quiet for a few minutes.  
What was he doing there ?  
I quickly finished the bottle, and stood up to buy another one. 

« - I’m not letting you drink another bottle Midori, said Kakashi in an authoritarian tone, grabbing my wrist. You finished this one way too fast. 

\- Leave me alone. I’m a grown girl. 

\- Don’t you have a mission tomorrow ? It’s irresponsible from you to get drunk the night before.

\- I don’t care anymore. And you’re wrong. I have literally nothing to do tomorrow. 

\- You will not say that tomorrow. Put your ass back on this chair. »

I sat down, with an heavy sign. 

« - Why are you here Kakashi ?, I asked, for the second time this night. 

\- Because I’m worried about you, Midori. » 

My heart stared to beat faster... and I just knew it’s wasn’t to blame on the alcohol. 

« - There’s no need to. I’m good. Just enjoying a drink, by myself, on a nice Sunday evening. 

\- You don’t seem fine. 

\- But I am. 

\- Remember when we were kids ? I used to say that, and you used to ask all the time if I was alright. 

\- Back in our days, you were depressed. I was just trying to be a good friend. 

\- And I’m trying to return the favour. 

\- You needed help. You lost your two best friends. And your Sensei. 

\- Well, you lost a friend too, tonight. 

\- Stop it. It’s not the same situation. »

We stayed quiet for a few minutes. Events of tonight kept haunting me, and by now, I thought that everyone in Konoha must be thinking that Midori Okichi was a whore. 

« - I don’t think that you’re a slut, said Kakashi, breaking the silence. »

It was just like he was reading my mind. His tone was very serious but I knew he was saying this to make me feel better, after all the shits I had to go through today. 

« - That’s because we used to fuck. If I’m a slut, you’re kind of one too. 

\- You think that I’m a slut ?

\- Yeah, definitely. You’re a sucker for sex. »

He smiled, and I smiled too. 

« - I’m joking. You’re a respectable man, a man everyone look up to. I’m just a tart to people here. 

\- They used to call me a monster, or cold hearted. 

\- I fucking hate this place, and everyone in it. My life is ruined. 

\- As always, you’re so dramatic. You will never change, huh ? Your life isn’t ruined. 

\- This time, it’s not the same, I said in a whisper. You know it, Kakashi. 

\- Things will get better. It’s not that bad, trust me. Everyone will forget it in a couple of days. Or months. 

\- My grandma will never forget it. Neither the Hokage or the council will. I will never be a Jounin, or have the right to teach Genin and have my own team. It was my dream. 

\- I thought your dream was to be like Tsunade Sama ? I remember you saying this everyday when we were kids. 

\- I gave up on this dream when someone told me that my chest was too flat. 

\- Really ? Someone said that ? It’s funny... But don’t worry, even if you don’t have Tsunade Sama’s chest... You’re still blessed at this part of your body. »

Kakashi laughed, and I laughed too.  
After a while, I broke the silent. 

« - I was so close to my dream. Lord third wanted to nominate me as a Jounin tomorrow, and wanted me to train Shikaku Sensei’s son team. And now, I will be a Chunin for the rest of my life, and Asuma will train the new Ino-Shika-Chô. I’m so sad, I said, in a whisper. »

Saying this out loud made all the situation more real. When I kept it to myself, I could pretend that it didn’t happened. 

« - Did you talk to Shikaku sama ?

\- Not yet. But I bet he already knows. I don’t want to talk to him... He was so proud of me when I told him that I will train his son and become a Jounin. Shikaku Sensei is like a father to me. And I disappointed him. »

I stared into space. Saying that I felt bad was an euphemism. I felt broken. 

« - But I’m still happy that Lord Third chose you to train Genin, Kakashi. Good luck with them tomorrow. 

\- I’m going to need it... The last Uchiha of Konoha, the troublemaker kid...

\- You’ll be fine. I’m not worried. »

He smiled again. 

« - Midori, do you want to talk about what happened today ?

\- Not really. 

\- Are you sure ?

\- Yes. Thank you though, Kakashi. 

\- Well then I’m taking you back to your place. 

\- You don’t need to. 

\- Go pay your bottle, I wait for you outside. 

\- Damn it, you’re so stingy. You could’ve at least pay my bottle. »

Turning back, he smiled, and went outside.  
I paid for my bottle and joined him. 

Outside, the air was cool and the streets empty. The night was there, and the sky dark.  
Walking next to Kakashi, I looked at him. Both hands were in his pockets, and his eye was looking at the sky. 

« - The night is pretty tonight, isn’t it ?

\- Well... It’s dark. »

To tease me, Kakashi pulled my ponytail. 

« - Don’t touch my hair, dumbass. You know I hate that. 

\- That’s why I pulled your ponytail. Aren’t you tired to wear the same hairstyle everyday ?

\- What a cheek ! Your messy hair is always the same, and I don’t say anything bad about this. I bet that everyday, you just put your hairband, without even brushing that shock of hair. Don’t come after my sleek ponytail. »

After everything that happened today and tonight, I can’t believe I was talking about hairstyles with Kakashi Hatake.  
He laughed, and we continued to walk in the streets of our village, quietly. I didn’t feel the need to talk, and neither did he.  
Enjoying this time of calm, I started to feel anxious about the whole situation I put myself in. I needed to think about it, to fix my mistakes, and to apologize to a lot of people.  
Thinking about all of this made me angry... I don’t have to apologize. But I know I will need to.  
A cool wind swept my hair. It made me figure out that I was finally home. 

« - Thank you for the drink. And the walk. I appreciate it, Kakashi. 

\- You’re welcome. 

\- Do you want to come over ? »

My fingers started to gently run his arms, delivering him my intentions. I gently touched his neck and whispered words to his ears. 

« - We could spend the night together, if you know what I mean. »

I was like that. I didn’t know how to deal with my problems other than to fuck someone. 

« - Aren’t you tired of that Midori ? Sleeping with someone as soon as you want to ignore your worries ?

\- You know me. I’m never tired of sex. 

\- Well look at you tonight. I think it caused you way more troubles that it brought you peace. »

Kakashi was right, and I knew it. But this obsession with sex was something deeper, something he couldn’t understand.  
Sex was my drug, for a long time now. 

« - I know that, Kakashi. 

\- Why don’t you just stop then ?

\- It’s complicated, I answered in a low voice. I can’t. 

\- You’re lying to yourself. »

I wasn’t. Kakashi thought he knew me very well. In fact, he didn’t know me as much as he would, or thought. 

« - You’re coming with me, yes or no ? »

His eye observed me. Hatake seemed to weigh up the pros and cons. 

« - Fine. I’m coming. »

With a sigh, he followed me in my small apartment.  
Once we got in, I pressed my body against his and started moving a bit his mask, kissing his neck. Actually, it was the only thing I could kiss.  
I loved sex with Kakashi. It was intense, rough and always good. But one thing I hated, is that he never took his mask off. Which meant no kiss from him, or nothing that used his mouth or tongue. And that was highly frustrating, because I loved oral sex.  
As I continue to gently kiss his neck, I sucked up the thin skin, creating a hickey. I was allowed to do it, and in fact he didn’t care : the mask would cover it. While I was taking care of his neck and shoulder, my partner untied my ponytail, and brushed my long hair with his hands, softly.  
It was the same pattern, over and over again.  
Kakashi started slowly... but it never lasted. With him, sex was fierce. 

Pushing me against my wall, my back violently hit it, and I let a little scream slip out of my mouth. 

« - Be careful !

\- And you, be quiet. It’s late..., answered the white haired man. But sorry. »

Unbuttoning my trousers, Kakashi took off his gloves, and put a warm hand in my underwear. The contact was reassuring and familiar, and he started to fondle what was inside.  
My eyes closed, I focused on his touch, on his fingers rubbing my clitoris, making circulars movements. Then, when I was used to his touch, he quickly insert two fingers inside my vagina.  
I covered my mouth with my hand, and tried to be the most quiet I could be. 

« - Hey, you can scream my name if you want to, you know, said Kakashi in a vicious tone, his fingers always inserting my body further. 

\- You wish, pervert. »

Suddenly, he inserted a third finger. I could feel the love juice flowing between my legs, dirtying my pants. 

« - Let me take off my trousers, it’s...

\- Really wet. Yeah, I can tell. »

With a sigh, I started to undress myself, taking my clothes off, not only my pants.  
Once I was naked, I faced off Kakashi. He was shirtless, but his boxer shorts were still on. I grabbed his waist, to push him violently.  
My bed cushioned his fall, and I was now on top of him.  
I could literally feel the tension between our two bodies, begging for each other’s.  
My mouth was kissing his neck and collar bone, my right hand was on his chest, and my left hand was searching something, in his underwear.  
When I touched his erection, Kakashi gasped, and moaned as soon as I started to give him a hand job.  
Now, with all the practice we had, I knew how and where he loved to be touched.  
Going faster caused his muscles to contract, and his breathe was heavier.  
God, that sound really turned me on. 

« - You know, I said without stopping my movements, this would feel better if I could put my mouth too... »

I savagely licked his ear, and he moaned. 

« - Hey, you can scream my name if you want to, Kakashi. 

\- Don’t play that game with me. 

\- What game ? »

I smiled, a smile of victory. It was hard for him to speak, and I knew he was close to cum... pre cum was already on the top of his cock, lubricating everything, and making easier for my hand to do the job.  
But just when I thought he was done, he grabbed my wet hand, and took it off his underwear. 

« - You really thought you could make me come just with one hand ? It’s almost funny. Now, we’re done playing. »

I wanted to say something, but everything happened too fast. Still sat on his body, Kakashi grabbed my neck and started to choke me. Surprised, he took advantage of it and switched the roles : he was now on top of me.  
The pression of his hand around my neck was painful, but I liked it. Plus, he knew how to manage it, and how to stop if it become too sore for me.  
With controlled gestures, Kakashi removed his boxer : his penis was standing, long, and hard -very hard-. His right hand still around my neck, he used his left one to open my legs. My body was begging for him, for his touch, for everything. It was almost humiliating how much I wanted him, inside of me, right now. I couldn’t stand any longer, but I would rather die that to tell him.  
Kakashi searched something on the floor -a condom- and put it.  
Then, my lover didn’t make the wait any longer and violently penetrate me, deep in one go. I arched my back, while screaming.  
His hands moved from my neck, to my waist. 

« - I told you to be quiet Midori. You have neighbors. »

But while saying this in a serious tone, he was fucking me harder, but especially deeper. I could feel him reaching the bottom of my body, and it just made my screens louder.  
Kakashi covered my mouth with one of his hand, the other one still holding my waist.  
He didn’t spared me tonight : my body was heavily sweating, breathing oxygen was hard.  
When he released a long moan, I couldn’t help to released one too. His voice was a blessing to my ears... and particularly when that moan was thanks to me. 

« - I’m close, I said, shutting my eyes to only focus on my orgasm. 

\- Me too Midori, he answered in a whisper. Oh shit I’m-»

But I didn’t listen to him anymore, because it was enough for me. Him, Kakashi Hatake, whispering my name while fucking me in a violent way. I screamed, arched my back and reached climax.  
Re opening my eyes, I found him laying by my side, getting his breathe back. I had too some breathing problems, but I didn’t care.  
Kakashi stared at me, his only eye almost closed, due to tiredness and effort.

« - The fact that me saying your name made you cum is amazing, he said when he could breathe properly. 

\- What are you talking about ? It was just your cock. 

\- Yeah, you wish. »

I laughed, and it was really good to laugh after that hard day night.  
Facing Kakashi on my bed, he opened his arms and I took refuge in it. This, was literally my favorite part. Pillow talks. 

« - Thank you for staying with me tonight, Kakashi. 

\- Don’t thank me. I already told you that I would always be here for you, no matter what. »

How could I forget ? It was about a year or two. He told me that I really helped him in his times of darkness, and that he was really thankful to me. 

« - In addition, I couldn’t leave you alone after the day you spent... still don’t want to talk about that ?

\- No. 

\- It might be a good idea, you could feel better. 

\- Sex already made me feel better. 

\- You have a serious problem with sex. I don’t think it’s normal. Maybe you should see someone. Like, a therapist or something. »

I stayed quiet. Kakashi wasn’t the first man to told me that. In fact, he was the second.  
I knew something was wrong with me, and I knew why. But pretending I’m fine was better, and I never talked about it with Kakashi. I only talked about this thing with one man. 

« - I told you for years to go see a therapist, you never listened to me, you white haired dumbass. 

\- I had you. And Gaï. 

\- Well, I have you, and Yori. And Hayate. They both are close to me. 

\- And Kurenai. I told you, she was worried about you. And Anko, too

\- Anko is so sweet, that’s true. And I should have said congrats to Kurenai for her Jounin nomination. Shit, I’m such a bad friend. 

\- You’ll talk to her tomorrow. And having friends is good. But Midori, opening to your friends is better. 

\- You’re talking like you’re opening to anybody. 

\- Yeah... You ! Stupid bitch. »

I laughed. 

« - How many years I had to wait Kakashi ! You must remember. 

\- Yes, always. »

He stayed quiet. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought this right now. I knew Kakashi was still fighting his demons, even if he was feeling better than before. 

« - Sorry Kakashi. 

\- For what ? 

\- Talking about this. 

\- It’s okay. All of this belongs to the past now. 

\- You’re still allowed to be sad, sometimes. »

He answered me after a few seconds. 

« - I wish I could be sad. I just feel... Empty. »

I chose my words carefully, because I knew we were skating on thin ice. 

« - It’s normal. You suffered so much, so your brain just gave you a break, and said no more feelings for you. 

\- Well, tell my brain the break is over. I’m tired of not feeling anything. » 

I wondered if sex helped him the way it helped me. Maybe he kept fucking with me because thanks to it, he could feel things, not being empty for a moment, while our bodies were together. 

« - We should go to sleep. I don’t want to be tired tomorrow, he said after minutes of silence. 

\- Sure. Goodnight Kakashi. Sleep well. 

\- You too. »

He adjusted his arms, and I felt comfy : they were holding me, and my head was on his chest. I could ear his heart beating.  
In fact, I wasn’t tired. Now that we were done fucking, all my thoughts came back, and my head was full, again.  
I was panicked. What will happen tomorrow ? I would have to face everyone, and I wasn’t ready. 

Kakashi was now sleeping peacefully. He must’ve been very tired...  
Removing myself from his arms, I went outside, on my balcony. The night was fresh, but the wind all I needed : it cleared my ideas. 

Looking at the the horizon, I realized I had no idea how to handle things anymore. Silent tears started dropping from my eyes.  
What would I become ?  
My reputation was gone, everyone was thinking that I was a whore.  
My childhood best friend betrayed me.  
My dreams and goals as a shinobi will never happen.  
And last but not least, I was desperately in love with Kakashi Hatake, a man who closed his heart for years now.


	2. Preparation and confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chap 2 ! Enjoy !

One knock on my door woke me up. I opened my eyes, and moved a bit : the sun was reheating my face, my bed was warm. Whoever wanted to see me right now will have to wait. I had no desire to go and open my door. Re closing my eyes, I tried to go back to sleep. But the second knock on my door was louder than the first one. With a frustrated sigh, I stoop up, quickly put some clothes on, tied my hair in a ponytail and opened my door  
I found my friend, Hayate Gekkou, waiting for me on the door step with a smile on his face and a pile of paper in his hands.

« - Good morning Midori ! How are you ?

\- Tired. I was sleeping. How about you ?

\- Come on, it’s almost midday ! Plus- »

A violent coughing fit put a stop to his sentence. As far back as I can remember, Hayate always looked sick : permanent dark rings under his eye, always coughing... But he never complained, and was always kind to everybody. I really admired him for this.

« - Excuse me. So, I was saying, plus you have a mission today.

\- What do you mean.

\- Lord Third asked me to start the organisation of the Chunin exam. It will happen in few months, or maybe a year. But he still wants to start the preparation early. It will take place in Konoha.

\- This explain the pile of paper you have, but not your presence here.

\- Well, I knew you had nothing to do today, so I asked Hokage sama if we could work together on this. I thought it could change your ideas, and help you to be a Jounin quicker. And Lord Third approved, saying it was a good idea. 

\- You really asked this ? Thank you so much Hayate. »

I was really touched by his kindness, it was like a ray of sun in all this darkness.

« - No need to thank me, it’s okay. Plus, I was looking for you last night... We were all worried Midori : Kurenai, Anko, Kakashi, Yori... »

Yori Kei was my childhood bestfriend. We grew up together, and were both trained by Shikaku Nara. The third shinobi in our team was named Kaïto Ryu.

« - Was Kaïto worried about me ? Oh wait, I’m stupid. Everything that happened is because of him.

\- I agree with you. What he did to you was disgusting. We all agree on that... Even Yori, who’s always defending him. 

\- Whatever. Come in, let’s work. »

He entered in my apartment, and I closed the door behind him.

« - Make yourself at home Hayate. You can sit here if you want. Do you want to drink something ? A tea ? Water ?

\- A tea will be perfect, thank you. »

I went to my kitchen and started boiling water.

« - Where were you last night ?, asked my friends, after coughing.

\- With Kakashi. We had a drink together, and we spent the night together. »

There was no need to lie, plus Hayate was someone I trusted. He never told my secrets to anymore. And in addition, our whole group of friends knew Kakashi and I were friends with benefits.

« - Glad to hear that. At least you weren’t alone. How do you feel ?

\- Sad. Angry. Disappointed.

\- Do you want to talk about it ?

\- No... But thank you. Really.

\- I’m here for that. We’re friends after all ! »

I smiled to him, and brought our teas to the table. Hayate was one of the rare friends I didn’t sleep with, and maybe that’s why we were close.

« - How is Yugao ?, I asked to him, while drinking my tea. Still in the Anbu ? »  
Yugao was his girlfriend. She was a strong kunoichi, an expert of the katana. They were together for a long time now.

« - She’s good ! And yes still in the Anbu... Unfortunately.

\- Why are you saying this ?

\- Missions are more dangerous. Every time she’s working, I’m worried.

\- You shouldn’t. She’s really strong. »

I smiled when I saw his anxious face.

« - You really love her, don’t you ?

\- Yes. She’s my favorite person on earth and... I literally can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. »

This made my heart melt.

« - I’m really happy for you, for both of you. You really deserve this.

\- You too Midori. You deserve a boyfriend who will treat you well !

\- Please. No boyfriends for me. »

I was lying. I didn’t wish a boyfriend, because the only man I wanted didn’t want me. Well, not in a relationship to be precise.

« - Can I tell you something Midori ?

\- Yes, of course.

\- I want to marry Yugao. »  
I looked at him, eyes wide open.

« - What ?

\- Midori, I’m so deeply in love with her. So... why should we wait ? I mean, it was just an idea. I didn’t talk about it with anyone yet, you’re the first one. I mean, we can’t live together because we’re not married, and I would love to.

\- Well... You should ask her. I think this is an amazing idea ! I’m a bit shocked, I didn’t except that... But if you feel ready, just go !

\- But what if she isn’t ?

\- She will tell you no. That’s not a big deal.

\- Yes it is !, he answered, laughing. You have no idea how stressed I am, and I’m not even proposing her !

\- She loves you. You love her. You can’t live with her because Konoha sucks and is such a conservative place. So, wedding is literally the only solution.

\- I don’t know... we did talk about having children, but-

\- CHILDREN ? Disgusting.

\- You want to train kids, Midori.

\- Yes, this is not the same at all.

\- You don’t want children ?

\- Of course not. I don’t want a boring life like, getting married, having children, not being a kunoichi anymore... This is just not for me. Don’t take it personal.

\- Never, don’t worry. But this is a shame ! Imagine how cute your kids could be, with little ponytail and your beautiful green eyes !

\- No thanks. Plus, there’s a lot of orphans in Konoha. Why would you procreate when you could adopt ?

\- Leave me alone. I want my kids to have Yugao’s beauty. And to have her beautiful purple hair. »  
All this display of love and affection was too much and almost disgusting. But Hayate was my best friend, and he seemed happy. If he was, I was too.

« - I’m glad that you have projects for the future. I better be invited to this wedding.

\- Of course. You’ll be seated in front row. »  
We both laughed heartily. Even if his happiness made me realize how lonely I am, I wasn’t sad. I was happy for my friend, and that was all that mattered.

« - We should start to work. Lord Third wants a report of our work before the sun goes down. »  
I sighed, and started working. I didn’t have a lot of things to do : just check shinobis who could be examiners, see if we had to build another site for the trial, and started to wrote invitations to the others villages.

« - So, said Hayate after two hours of hard work. We have Ibiki Morino for the first part...

\- Good luck for them. We didn’t chose the easiest examiner.

\- Anko Mitarashi for the second...

\- She will find something twisted and super complicated. We know her.

\- But we need someone for the third and last one. Any ideas ?

\- Guy Might ?

\- He can’t. He trains a team, and they will probably be taking the exam.

\- That’s right, I forgot. Well... How about you ? 

\- Me ?

\- Yes ! You’ll be great ? You’re neutral, so you’ll be a good referee ! »

He coughed.

« - Well... Why not ? It’s okay, write my name. »

I smiled, happy that I convinced Hayate. After writing his name on the piece of paper, I stretched out. Sitting on a chair for two hours while writing was exhausting. Missions where I had to go outside, run and fight were a lot more interesting.

« - I think we have finished ! And it’s only two in the afternoon. You have now the time to take a nap, since I woke you up.

\- Let me take a shower, dress properly and we’ll go outside to Hokage sama’s office to make our report. Is it good for you ?

\- Perfect, but hurry up !

\- I promise. »

A shower was all I needed right now.  
The hot water relaxed my muscles, but I feel anxious. Going to the Hokage’s office meant going outside. Seeing people. And maybe seeing people who knew me, and I wasn’t ready for this.  
To calm down, I tried to take a deep breath, but I couldn’t. I felt something in my chest, a weight, and it was hard to breathe.  
What was happening to me ? I was a strong women, a strong kunoichi. I had to go through so much things in the past, because of my family, and that made me stronger. How could the idea of going outside could made me lose my mind and my breathe ?

What if everybody stared at me in the streets ? What if they decided to bully me ? To exclude me of the society ? No, I was being stupid. I didn’t kill someone, of did something really serious. My reaction was disproportionate : I needed to control myself, and not let stupid thoughts distracts me.  
It was being easier to breathe now, and I quickly washed my body and my long hair. That shower was a bad idea. Instead of doing me good, the hot water was oppressive and stressful.  
I rapidly quite it and got ready.  
No make up, nothing superficial. I wasn’t in the mood for it, I just tied my black hair in a high ponytail, just like every other days.

« - I’m ready Hayate, I said while putting my shoes.

\- Great. You were quick. Let’s go ! »

I smiled to him, and we went outside, holding papers in our hands. I closed my door, and started walking together in the side of Konoha. I tried to look confident, but my heart was beating fast in my chest, and it was very painful.

« - What are you going to do this afternoon ?, asked my friend.

\- I don't know. Maybe take a nap. And I want to see Kurenai, so I'll visit her later. What about you ?

\- Go to my parent's house. Didn't see them in a long time.

\- That's great. »  
We continued to walk, silently. I noticed people were looking at me while walking. Some of them were whispering, and Hayate noticed it too.

« - Don't pay attention to them. You're better than that. You know it right Midori ?

\- If you say so.»

But I was ill at ease. I started to touch my hands, nervously, and tried to look around, to find something that could brought me peace... Instead, I saw Shikaku Sensei, not far from me. He was talking to someone, and didn't see me. Not yet.

« - Shit. Let's take another street, I want to make a detour.

\- What ? Why would we do that ? Hokage Sama's office is right there.

\- Shikaku Sensei is here, look, I said, pointing at my sensei with my finger. He didn't see me yet, so, quick, let's go !

\- Come on Midori. You can't avoid him forever.

\- Yes, but I can avoid him today, and I will. Let's take this street. »  
I turned left, and Hayate followed me, looking behind his shoulders.

« - He saw us. He was staring at you.

\- Damn it. I told you to be quick ! » And now, I was angry against him.

« - Thank you so much Hayate !, I said with a heavy sigh.  
\- Don't blame me for that. You're an adult. You're twenty seven years old, and you're trying to avoid your problems by simply pretending they don't exist. Well, I have a scoop for you Midori : that's not how the world works.»

I opened my mouth but quickly closed it. I had nothing to say. He was right, and I knew it. We continued to walk, silently.

Once we got to the Lord Third's office, we put our work on his desk, exchanged a few words with the Hokage and went out. We weren't talking.

« - See you later ?, asked Hayate once we were back on Konoha's streets.

\- See you later, I answered with a smile. Sorry for being an ungrateful bitch.

\- Don't say that. It's true, but I still love you.

\- I love you more Hayate. »  
We smiled to each other's, and he made his way back home. I decided to do the same, when someone called me.

« - Hey ! Midori ! »  
I turnt back : it was my childhood friend, Yori Kei.

« - Oh, good afternoon Yori. How are you ? »  
He was running at me, and quickly arrived.

« - Fine. But... How about you ?

\- Not too bad... I guess.

\- I want you to know, I'm disgusted by what Kaïto did, and I told him to-

\- It's okay. I don't care anyway. »  
I was lying, of course. Kaïto Ryu, my childhood friend and teammate just ruined my life.

« - Let's have a tea of something. I want to invite you.

\- Thanks Yori, but I'll have to decline. I just drank one with Hayate, and I'm feeling tired. Might go home and sleep. Is it your day off ?

\- Yes. I wanted to see you. Let's go to my place, we could talk.

\- I'm tired. Another time ? »

I knew Yori was too kind to insist. In our trio, he was the one who always wanted to help, a shy kid who barely talked. Kaïto was the lousy child, always shouting and ready for fight. And I was the one always training to get better, making jokes to make everyone laugh. Our trio was inseparable... When we were kids.

« - Okay, another time, answered Yori in a sad tone. I didn't mean to disturb you.

\- You never disturb me. I'm just tired today. With all the drama and all...

\- I'm here for you, you know.

\- I don't want you to pick a side between me and Kaïto.

\- What are you saying ? Of course I'll pick your side ! Come on, he told everybody something he knew would ruin your reputation and cause you troubles. But, you already know why he did this.

\- Because he's a mean person ? Yes I know.

\- No Midori. He was jealous that he... Well... Couldn't see it... In real... And... »  
Yori was blushing, and started to stutter.

« - Here you are, defending him.

\- No ! Midori... I'm not doing this. I'm just explaining to you his reasons. Don't act like you don't know he's in love with you.»

He blushed again, but this time, he seemed sad. Yori was in love with Kaïto. Kaïto was in love with me. And I was in love with Kakashi. It was like that since we were children. But everything became more messed up and twisted when we grew up. Especially when Yori and I fucked. Yori wanted to see if he really was homosexual, and I wanted to help him, knowing how much pain it brought him not knowing his sexuality. Turnt out he was 100% gay.

« - When you love someone you don't ruin his life, Yori.

\- I know but-

\- Defending him no matter what won't make Kaïto fall in love with you. »

That was below the belt, and I knew it. I immediately regretted my words when I saw his face distorted with pain.

« - I, I'm sorry Yori. I didn't mean to say that.

\- But you're right. And you already know our relationship with Kaïto is complicated since he found out we slept together. He barely talks to me now.

\- Maybe if you told him that you didn't enjoy fucking me, he-

\- He wouldn't get it without finding out I love him, he answered in a whisper. In his eye, you're the sexisest and most desirable person of the town. So, he would assume I don't like women, and he would be right. Then... Maybe he'll get I love him.

\- That would be a great thing. You love him since we're kids, and-

\- He's straight. »  
Tears started to drop off from his eyes, and I feel extremely bad.

« - I'm so sorry Yori... Please forgive me.

\- That's nothing, he said while wiping his eyes with his hands. Look, I have something to do. Let's see each other's another day ! It was lovely to see you Midori. Take care »

His tone was fake, I could tell. He smiled at me and left. With a sigh, I started to walk. My troubles had nothing to do with my friends, so I had no reasons to be mean.  
Why was I acting like that ?  
Slowly walking, I tried to focus on something else that Hayate, Yori, or people staring at me. All of this brought me guilt or anxiety. Maybe I should spend the afternoon with Yori after all.  
I was so concentrated, I didn't even notice I was walking towards Shikaku Sensei.  
When I noticed it, it was too late.  
Our eyes met, and he stopped talking with the man in front of him.

« - Hey, could you excuse me for a second Choza ? Let's see this later, right ?, said Shikaku to the man. »

I turned around, and started to walk quicker.

« - Midori ! »  
He was calling me. Maybe I could pretend I didn't hear him.

« - Mendokuse !, I heard him saying. Shadow Possession Jutsu ! »

Suddenly, I couldn't walk anymore.

« - I can't believe I have to do this ! It was alright when you were thirteen ! But now you’re an adult !, said Shikaku Sensei, while walking towards me. »  
He was now in front of me.

« - I can break the jutsu ? You will not run away ? »  
The sensation of being trap in the Nara Clan's shadow jutsu was familiar. I can't count on the time my sensei did it to me.  
And I already knew I had no chance to espace.

« - I will not run away, Sensei.

\- That's what I wanted to hear. »

Shikaku Sensei freed me, and sighed.

« - Mendokuse Midori ! At my age !

\- Sorry Sensei, I said

Now, I was feeling guilty.

« - It's okay. Let's walk together. I want to talk to you. »

I nodded, and we started walking. It was a warm afternoon : the sun was shining, kids were playing and laughing.  
I looked at my Sensei : even if years passed, he did not change. Shikaku Nara was still the same man, with the same bun, the same goatee and the same scars on his face. He was walking slowly, his hands on his pockets. We walked a bit in silent, and arrived to a park. It was silent, nobody was there.

« - How are you feeling ?, said Shikaku Sensei, breaking the silence.

\- I'm okay. What about you Sensei ?

\- We're not here to talk about me, but about you. And please, don't lie to me Midori, I know you too well. How do you feel ?

\- Bad. Ashamed of myself, ashamed that I, I disappointed you. »

It was hard to say this in front of him. Lowering my head, I looked at my feet, because I couldn't stand his look at me.  
Being known as the whore of Konoha was hard, but I could go through it. Disappointing a man who always stood by me no matter what, a true father, was hard. Very hard.

« - Who said you disappointed me ?, he answered in a sweet tone. »

I raised my head. He didn't look furious or mad. He was smiling.

« - It's not the end of the world. You just posed naked in a pornographic book ! Why would I be mad or disappointed at you ? It's your life, I don't have to interfere in. »

I blinked several times : I couldn't believe it.

« - But because of it, Lord Third canceled my Jounin AND Sensei nomination !

\- I talked to Hokage Sama. I told him it was ridiculous, but the council didn't want any dramas or anything.

\- It's unfair !

\- Yes, I agree with you. People who bought Jiraiya's Icha Icha don't get anything. Neither did Jiraiya himself. But you had troubles because you appeared in it. And I'm sorry about that.

\- You're not angry ?

\- I told you : no Midori. I find this situation stupid and unfair. But to be honest, I understand the council decision, even if I don't agree with. And be honest with yourself. You understand them too. »

I sighed, and Shikaku smiled.

« - You're an adult now. Come on Midori, you're twenty seven years old. You must now that your actions have consequences. You did something, it has consequences. You just have to face them. That's all. It's your business, and I'm not disappointed or anything. I don't care what you do in your... Free time ? »

He started to laugh, and I smiled. I liked when Shikaku Sensei played down strained atmosphere.

« - I just want to know something Midori.

\- Yes ?

\- Is it true that... Kaïto is the one who told everyone the mysterious naked woman on Jiraiya's Icha icha was you ? »

I remembered when the book first came out. At the end, on two pages, a naked woman was drawn. We couldn't see her face, because the drawing only showed her body from her neck to her feet.  
She was lying on her bed, and the drawing wasn't censured. Thanks to that, Jiraya sold a lot of copies : he said that it was his most popular book. So, obviously, everyone was wondering : who was that girl ?

« - Yes, I simply answered.

\- I can't believe he did that. He knew it would bring you troubles. I don't understand him.

\- I don't either, Sensei.

\- You guys used to be so united... Ah, sure his feelings for you complicated your friendship, but still, he didn't have to do that. Did he apologize to you ? »

I raised an eyebrow.  
Shikaku Sensei knew that Kaïto was in love with me ?

« - No, he didn't. I didn't saw him today. Or yesterday.

\- I'll talk to him.

\- It's okay, you don't need to. Yori already did. Well I think.

\- You saw him ?

\- Yes. »

Shinku Sensei looked at me for a few seconds.  
I felt a bit better, but I still felt bad.

« - I hate Kaïto so much. If I see him, I'll punch him, and then kill him.

\- You're not like that. Punch him if you want, but don't kill him. His mom is scary, you must remember. She'll kill you as soon as you touched her precious son. »

We laughed heartily. It was true that Miss Ryu was an overindulgent mother.  
Staying quiet for a minute, I searched something intelligent to say. To be honest, I didn't know what to tell to Shikaku Sensei. Once again, he was there for me, like a father. He truly was a father to me, even if I never said it to him. Maybe he knew it ? I had no idea.

« - Thank you for comforting me Sensei.

\- It's okay Midori. You're still the little twelve years old girl who always wanted to fight with me ! »

I raised an eyebrow and he smiled.

« - You grew up too fast. Well, you all did. You and the boys. I kind of miss the old times, sometimes. But I'm happy that you become a courageous woman. You had a rough childhood, but look at you. You never gave up, I'm proud of you Midori. »

I turned away to hide the tears that were dropping from my eyes. They were silent, but still there. Everytime someone mentioned my childhood, I couldn't help but cry.  
I still had vivid memories from that time, and they were stronger when I talked about that.

« - Thank you Sensei, I said in a whisper. I will forever be grateful to you. »

I wanted to tell him that he was my paternal figure. That he become the dad my real father never was. But those words were hard to say, so I stayed quiet. In addition, I didn't think I could talk right now.

Shikaku stood up, and pressed his hands on my shoulder.

« - I have to go. Shikamaru will be back soon from his first training, I want to know if everything went good.

\- See you later Shikaku sensei.

\- See you later. Take care of yourself. »

I smiled, and he disappeared.  
Now, I was alone, on a public bench. I had no tears left to cry... With yesterday and today, my body was tired and empty.  
Looking at the sky, I realized how futile everything was. Going to the academy, training, teaching genins... The life of a shinobi was hard. And for what ? For a village who treated me so bad ?  
I will never forget Konoha for today. Neither will I forget what they did with my father, how well they treated him after all the things he did.

Breathing slowly the air of the ending of the afternoon, I was feeling a bit better.  
If Asuma was done training his Genins for today, that meant Kurenai was done too.

I stood up, and started walking towards her appartement. The streets of Konoha were full of people, and a majority of them were looking at me.  
Ah, yes. Again. Is this how celebrity felt ?  
I walked faster, and quickly made my way to Kurenai's home.  
With surprise, I found Asuma in front of her door. Once I was near him, he sighed.

« - What are you doing here Midori ?

\- Visiting my friends. What about you ?

\- Visiting my friend too. »

I never understood this. EVERYBODY knew Kurenai and Asuma were dating, but they kept calling each other's « friends ».

« - How was your day ?, I asked, politely. »

I wasn't friend with Asuma. In fact, we didn't like each other's. And to be honest, I hated him right now : he took MY place. I was supposed to train what was now HIS team.

« - Really good. The kids are awesome. Too bad I'm teaching them huh ?

\- Yeah. Kind of. It was supposed to be me. »

He did this on purpose. He was enjoying this situation.

« - Ended up being me, said Asuma with a big smile on his face, his cigarettes always on his mouth. 

\- You know why they chose you. You’re the son of the Hokage.... You’re just a consolation prize. »

His smile disappeared as soon as I said those words.

« - Be careful Midori. I’m not joking with you.

\- Truth hurts ? I was chosen. Because I’m STRONGER than you. Then they chose to give it to you for that stupid drama, knowing you’re weaker. But at least you’re Lord Third’s son, so I guess- »

Then, everything came one after another. He tried to raise his hand to me, but I was quicker, and avoided it.

« - How DARE you try to hit me ?

\- Who do you think you are ? You’re just a whore, who’s now famous in all Konoha because she posed in a pornographic book, and slept with thousands of man. Are you proud of yourself ? »

I didn’t think much about it, and punched him on the nose. My fist pressed his face, and I felt better.

« - MIDORI ? ASUMA ? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE ? »

We both turned around.  
Kurenai Yuhi was standing there, in the hallway of her apartment block, watching us with surprise and anger.

« - What are you doing there ? Were you two fighting ? »

I looked at Asuma as the same time as Kurenai.  
The black haired woman put a hand on his mouth, and quickly made a walk towards him.

« - Why are you bleeding, she asked in a whisper. »  
Indeed, he was bleeding.

\- Ask your crazy best friend, answered Asuma while wiping his nose. »

Kurenai faced me, disappointment in her face.

« - Why can’t you both be friends ? It hurts seeing my best friend and... And, well, my other best friend being like that.

\- I was friendly at first Kurenai. Then he insulted me. »

I didn’t say anything about the fact that she called Asuma her « bestfriend » when everybody knew they were dating. But considering Asuma was the son of Lord Third, a « girlfriend » was nothing. He needed a « wife » and until Kurenai and Asuma weren’t married, they were friends. I hated Konoha so much for this. Hayate and Yûgao, Kurenai and Asuma... Happy couples that were forced to hide their love, and couldn’t live together because they weren’t married. As much as I hated Asuma, it hurt me seeing Kurenai not being able to be 100% happy.

Kurenai sighed.

« - Anyway. Both of you, come in. »

She unlocked her door, and we all entered her appartement. Kurenai’s appartement was lovely. Everything was cute and well organized, full of life and happiness, just like her.  
As soon as we entered, Kurenai quickly went to her bathroom to get cotton pads and cleaner, to disinfect Asuma’s nose, which was still bleeding.

« - Please honey, do not smoke in my appartement, she said gently, while taking Asuma’s cigarettes out of his mouth. »

He smiled at her, and let her do it. It was fascinating how a jerk Asuma was with everybody, but so sweet and calm with Kurenai. They were clearly deeply in love, and I was happy for Kurenai. Asuma treated her very well, I had nothing to say about it.

« - Why were you both on my doorstep ?

\- I wanted to see you. Congratulation on your Jounin nomination Kurenai, you truly deserve it. How was your first day with your students ? »

She looked at me and blushed.

« - Oh Midori... That’s so sweet, thank you so much.

\- She did the bare minimum come on Kurenai, said Asuma, rolling his eyes. »

He wasn’t wrong though. I wasn’t there last night when they celebrated it, and came without a present.

« - I’m really sorry Kurenai, I said silently.

\- No no ! Stop that ! And Asuma, shut up. I spent a really good day. My students are very cute. I have to teach Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka and Hinata Hyuga. We’re team 8 !

\- Wow, the Hyuga heiress ?

\- Yeah... I’m kind of stressed about that one. The heiress of the most powerful clan in Konoha... »

She sighed.

« - Don’t worry about that, you’ll be fine. You’re strong, and kind. A perfect sensei ! »

She smiled, and finished to heal her boyfriend.

« - Feeling better Asuma ?

\- Yes. Thank you. »  
They smiled to each other’s, and I felt like the third wheel.

« - Hey, I have to go. »  
I was disturbing them.

« - Finally, said Asuma. »

I raised an eyebrow.

« - Asuma, remember when we fought the last time ? Who won ? Oh yes. Me. You have 0 chance against me, so shut the fuck up. »

He stood up to face me. He was way taller than me, so that was impressing. But I wasn’t afraid.

« - Midori, stop bringing that fight everytime you see Asuma please... And Asuma, stop being mean to Midori. Why can’t you two be friends ? I’m tired of this situation. »

We stared at each other’s, in silence.

« - Sorry for calling you a whore, apologized Asuma.

\- YOU CALLED HER A WHORE ? No wonder what she punched you ! Seriously Asuma ? »  
Kurenai seemed angry.

« - It’s okay. Sorry for the punch, I said in return. I have some things to do.

\- I come with you, said my best friend.

\- No, no it’s okay. I’m just going home. Have a nice evening, good luck with your students tomorrow ! »

I quitted her appartement, and started walking towards mine. The sun was setting down, and Konoha was illuminated by an orange halo. Even like that, I couldn’t find the village beautiful : it still disgusted me. My hate for this village was still there, as powerful as it was yesterday. People were still staring at me, but I didn’t care. Like I didn’t care when Asuma insulted me. Maybe he was right, maybe I was a whore. It wasn’t the matter, anyway.  
My head was empty. I couldn’t think of anything, I just wanted to sleep. Sleep for days, and never woke up. Maybe I could ask Lord Third to join the Anbu... I could die quickly in dangerous mission, and cleaned my name. I should do that.

I sighed, and continued to walk. Now, I was thinking about Kakashi. When he was in the Anbu, he was more depressed than ever.  
Kakashi... How was his day ? Did he enjoy his first training with his new students ? I should go to his place... But he should be tired. I would just disturb him.  
Nevertheless, I really wanted to see him. Not only to have sex... Even if I would not decline a lay right now, especially with him, I wanted to talk to him. I felt safe with Kakashi. I knew a lot of thing about him. After all those days knowing each other’s (and fucking each other’s) he slowly let his walls down and confessed several things to me.  
Falling in love with this man, who didn’t feel feelings towards anyone now was the most stupid I ever did -and i did a lot of stupid things-.  
Things would be simpler if I fell for another guy.

As soon as I arrived to my place, I took off my closed and laid on my bed. I was tired, really tired, and just wanted to sleep.  
I didn’t care if I skipped diner.  
Sleep was all I needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it for now ! This chap focused more on Midori’s relation ship with other characters, but Kakashi will be back in the next chap ! The story will follow Naruto + Naruto shippuden storyline, so next chap will be about the Chunin exam ! Lmk if you enjoyed it ! Also, here’s my twitter : @hatakessenju ! I follow back !

**Author's Note:**

> In the next chapter, we will know what happened, and what devastated Midori ! I really hope you enjoyed this... let me know in the comments !!  
> xx cam


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